At least make sure they are 18
Why
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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