sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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