I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
