Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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