Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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