it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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