So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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