oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
