That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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