She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
