Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
