If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
