oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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