is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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