I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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