she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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