My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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