he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
