quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You pole danced in your parka.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
