what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
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We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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