You're so nebulous sometimes
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
