you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
