I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
