in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
