In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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