Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
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Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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