we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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