I hate all girls vehemently.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
