My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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