I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Rumble strips road head = magical
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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