I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
