It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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