are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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