Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
