I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
