She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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