And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
