drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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