he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
