i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"