the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes