fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
