I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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