I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
