my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
only you would photoshop your dick
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
