Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
