wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
