So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
