I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
only if we run a train.
done.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
