I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize