I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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