Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
