Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
