UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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