Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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