I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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