Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
