I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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