I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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