I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
