Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
oh god the rape fog is back!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
