there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
