i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
