first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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