im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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