Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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