Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
