Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
