I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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