so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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