Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
